Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Being Called Skinny Just as Detrimental as Being Called Fat

Calling someone skinny can be just as detrimental to one's ego as being called fat. In some languages and cultures, skinny is a negative thing. For example, in Latin American cultures where being bigger or curvacious is sexy. In Spanish, skinny translates to "flaco"––even just pronouncing it sounds harsh.

It's also interesting to note that many many years ago, heavier women were deemed best suited for partnership since it showed they were wealthy or came from a wealthy family, where they could afford to eat, drink, and be merry. More weight equaled higher social status. Skinny women (and men) were seen as poor or of lower status.

Then in the last decade, mostly in the fashion/modeling industry, being skinny was ideal.

Thankfully now in recent years, it's all about being healthy, fit and toned, or muscular. Gyms are popping up on every corner. Tons of companies are expanding their workout selections of equipment and clothing. Retail stores have more larger sections for health/fitness. Protein bars and shakes are all the rage. It's great that we are moving in the direction of being healthy, especially considering that obesity is an epidemic in America, and the number of overweight children is frightening.

But there is also a problem at the opposite end of the weight spectrum. Those who are (naturally or not) skinny or extremely thin. Being called skinny can have a negative effect on both men and women just as much as being called fat. Men want to be "big and strong" not skinny, which can be a sign of weakness. While (some) women may feel insecure and less feminine if they are lacking curves in all the right places.

When I was younger and heavier, I craved to be thin and for others to call me skinny. Now that I'm older and beginning to understand and accept my body, I don't want to be skinny. I want to be told I'm "in shape" or be called healthy or fit. I have always been an active person, but I've always battled with my weight. I'm only 5'2, so weight gain is obvious (unfortunately weight loss is not as noticeable) and I know I will have to worry about what and how much I eat, and be sure to exercise my entire life. Thankfully the exercise part is not a problem, since I love going to the gym and playing sports/games. Unfortunately food is my problem.

I like to eat, when there is something I really like, I want a lot of it. Especially sweets, like cookies. Mmm cookies. . . My other issue is that my eyes are bigger than my stomach and I always take way more than I can handle. And sometimes I feel guilty leaving my plate so full, so I will eat until I feel sick. Which by the way, is awful. Sometimes I get to the point that I really do get sick and throw up because I ate too damn much and my stomach feels like it is about to explode. Ugh, not fun.

Though lately I've been learning to take smaller portions, and I try to listen to my body, if I'm eating at home and I'm still hungry, I know I can have more. I also don't feel guilty about bringing home leftovers after a night out. I'd say 90% of the time I bring home leftovers whenever I go out to eat. But seriously, sweets are my weakness. I always have room for desert. Which is one reason the gym is my home away from home. I workout hard to work off whatever 'bad' things I've eaten. While I know that this pattern isn't going to help me lose weight or get six-pack abs, at least I'm not gaining weight. I'm maintaining, which isn't a bad thing. But I want to lose those stubborn 5 pounds that just won't fall off my hips.

But back to the skinny. As I said earlier, for men being skinny may make them seem or feel weak or less masculine and for women they may feel less feminine for their lack of curves. When I would see really thin people in the gym (mainly women), as someone who's always struggled with their weight, I used to get angry and in my head yell "you're skinny! why are you here? go away!" but now I realize that maybe they want to gain weight/muscle, or they just want to be fit/healthy. Just because someone is skinny or thin does NOT mean they are in shape. Maybe it's because I'm a member of Planet Fitness, the judgement free zone (not always the case), but I respect everyone who is at the gym. If you are at the gym, you are better than the person sitting home on the couch with a bag of chips, bottle of soda, binge watching bad TV. Anyone trying to get fit, skinny or not, deserves respect for taking control of their health.

We really need to be careful of what we say to others in regards to body weight. It is a sensitive subject, and everyone has their own story or personal battle with weight or health. It's not up to us to decide or to judge, and while we may feel like attacking the skinny pretty blonde in the gym, or shaming the obese guy eating a cheeseburger, but we don't know them. While we may feel bad or disgusted by the overweight or underweight person, it's not our body, so no reason to worry about it. Sure we can (and will) be observant, it's human nature. But the shaming needs to stop. We need to accept the variety of body types and focus on being healthy, because you can have all the money in the world, but there is no wealth as great as your health (and your life).

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