Big Girls Need Love Too

So I recently came across a news article about Abercrombie & Fitch, the relatively popular clothing brand, and it's CEO who is against overweight people. In the article, titled "Abercrombie & Fitch CEO Explains Why He Hates Fat Chicks" (which can be found here), the CEO explains why they only carry smaller sizes.

If you've ever been in an Abercrombie store, you've seen for yourself the trouble in finding an average size. Even women or girls who are a size medium may feel fat trying on their clothes. They are cut so small, smaller than the average woman. I remember being in high school, not too long after having lost some weight and feeling good about myself, that my best friend brought me into Abercrombie one Friday night mall trip. It was not my style at all, seeing as I was more on the punk/goth/outcast side, but I went in anyway with her. Even though I was no longer wearing large sizes, I still could barely fit into a sweatshirt I tried on. It made me feel horrible about myself, even though I would not have worn it, but  just not being able to fit into their clothes, made me feel like I would never "fit in" with society.

It is disgusting that they won't make or carry large or extra large sizes. There may be bigger sized girls who like their clothing and want to wear it, but can't because of the stereotyping against fat people. There are other brands that are competitive with Abercrombie that carry large sizes as well. American Eagle and H&M being the most recognized. They may not carry every item in every size in their stores, but they have the option for you to order online. Abercrombie doesn't offer that. The following is a direct quote from the news article:

Abercrombie’s attitude towards plus-sized women derives from CEO Mike Jeffries. Robin Lewis, author of The New Rules of Retail, spoke to Business Insider about the kind of people Jeffries wants advertising his brand.

“He doesn’t want larger people shopping in his store, he wants thin and beautiful people,” Lewis said. “He doesn’t want his core customers to see people who aren’t as hot as them wearing his clothing. People who wear his clothing should feel like they’re one of the ‘cool kids.’”

Yet, in men's sizes Abercrombie will carry large and extra large. Lewis said the only reason is to appeal to male athletes. How absurd is this logic? You don't have to be skinny to be considered pretty nor popular. Yes that's been the norm or what's been accepted for many years, but it is not in the least bit true. Especially now, since thin/skinny isn't considered as beautiful as being fit/toned. Also, the amount of plus sized models is on the rise. The one gripe I do have against plus sized models, is that most of the time they are the average woman, yet because they're not a size zero they are dubbed plus size. The modeling world is so fucked up.



Now I've just learned that this article has cited quotes and an interview from years ago, yet Abercrombie has had no comment in regards to the resurrection of old talk. Probably because they still feel the same way. So this isn't the first time Abercrombie has received criticism over their thoughts, marketing and brand. Not a surprise to me, but it is a surprise to me how they're still in business. With enough backlash you'd think people would stop buying their clothes and supporting their thoughts on being skinny makes you the best, because it doesn't.

Yes, being thin has advantages over those who are overweight, but if society continues to judge people based on their weight they may never know what good some of those fatter people may have in them. Also the number on the scale shouldn't matter. Muscle weighs more than fat, and those who are in shape or thin but lean, they can weigh more than someone who doesn't have muscle mass but still looks thin. Athletes especially look thinner than those who don't workout but usually still weigh more.

Unfortunately as much as we try to be judgement free, I don't think we can ever truly be. We are social beings, and part of being social means dissecting our surroundings and each other. We are constantly sizing one another up based on looks. Based on height, weight, clothing, hairstyle, etc. Even though we make assumptions of people based on how they look, if we can try and be more open minded in getting to know those people, we will have a chance.

Yo-Yo Diet

After joining Fencing and losing a lot of weight, I received some criticism about it, mostly from my parents, but a few friends too. They were concerned I wasn't losing weight in a healthy manner. I didn't understand, especially from my parents (mainly my mom) that they'd be upset about it. They knew I was overweight and that it was not a good thing to be fat. I was happy to lose the weight, but not if they thought I was anorexic, which I was NOT.

Granted, I wasn't eating super healthy, eating mostly pop tarts or bagels at school. But I'd eat a full, good, dinner that my mom had made that would be ready every night when I got home from school. But I was eating. It was just that I was working out my body a lot.

Regardless, I purposely tried to gain some weight to fight any speculation from my parents and anyone else. This was the worst thing I could do. Purposely gain weight, after trying and wanting to lose it so bad.

Then I became so upset with myself after gaining weight again to fight any speculation about my rapid weight loss that I was determined to lose it again. Now when I say weight gain, it wasn't a lot. I didn't gain back ALL that I had lost. But it was enough to be noticeable and enough to fuck with my head.

I became overly concerned, borderline obsessed, with my weight. I would weigh myself every day, which is the worst thing you can do. But at the time, I felt it was the only way I could keep myself in check. Don't do this, it just makes things worse.

It's hard, because I feel like anyone who has ever been overweight or "heavy" at one point in their lives fears it forever. You're always afraid to gain weight because you don't want to go back to that place again. No matter how comfortable you become with your weight, or no matter how happy you are to be thin or not be fat, you still fear it. I know I do. I know one thing I'm dreading is when the time comes to have children. I know weight gain is normal and is bound to happen, but I'm afraid, I don't want to be fat again, even if it is "baby weight".


Yo Yo Dieting is bad. It takes a toll on your body and your metabolism. Yet, so many people do it. While it's not deemed an official eating disorder, it is a medical concern because of the effect it has on the body. Yo Yo Dieting starts with the determination to lose weight or the beginning of a diet. There is success, we become happy with the weight loss. But then we get off track, start "cheating" on our diet, and gain weight again. Then we feel guilty and get back on track again. And the cycle continues. For some people it's not so bad, for others it's to the extreme. One famous example of an extreme Yo Yo Dieter is Renee Zellweger. That woman has gained and lost extreme amounts of weight that she doesn't look like the same person. Yes, she's an actress and sometimes has to gain or lose weight for movie rolls, but she's done it so much that it's really unhealthy. Here's one image, but you can Google search her and weight, and you'll see so many different weights she's been.

I yo-yo dieted in high school, especially because I was determined to be skinny, even when I was thin, but because of fencing I had gained weight –– muscle mass. At the time, I didn't know the difference, all I saw was the number on the scale, and I hated it. If I could go back in time and slap my 16/17 year old self, I would. I think it partially had to do with the times, skinny women were "beautiful" but now, it's about being fit, having muscle and/or being toned. Curves are sexy. Which is how it once was anyway (i.e. Marilyn Monroe, Bettie Paige, etc), so I guess weight is like fashion which goes through cycles, so does what is thought of as beautiful. Which is unfortunate because it messes with girls (and guys) heads.


It's a matter of finding that perfect balance between what you eat, how much you eat, and how active you are. And like I'm constantly saying, everyone's body is different. You need to know how your body is and what works for you. There are so many different diet plans and exercise plans that you can find one that works for you. It may take some time, and trial and error, but something will work best for you.

Losing the Baby Fat

I lost a lot of weight between eighth and ninth grade. I was at the peak of puberty and was motivated to be better looking. I was going to be entering High School, I had had enough of the taunting, I had enough of what I looked like. It was bad enough I needed to wear braces, and my acne wasn't totally under control yet. I didn't want to have braces, acne, AND be fat.

Some weight came off just by growing, but most of it because I started eating less and exercising more. I would make subtle changes in the beginning, like having one serving instead of two, not eating after 9pm, get a small ice cream instead of a large, stopped drinking soda, things like that. I would walk around my neighborhood if the weather was nice, and in the summer I swam in my pool almost every day.

Now, I was never not active, I did do dance and play softball and do horseback riding when I was a kid, but I guess it wasn't often enough to keep me at a healthy weight. That, combined with the overeating I was doing, resulted in my demise of being overweight. I think food and eating was (and still is) the biggest challenge for me. Once the little light bulb clicked on and I became aware of what I was eating and how much, I was able to start changing how and what I ate. I began to be able to control my diet.


In my freshman year (ninth grade), I discovered the Olympic sport of fencing. I went for a pre season meeting and was hooked. However my body was not ready for the intense amount of conditioning and exercise. The first few weeks of the season were purely conditioning and working out. It was the most activity I had ever experienced. Running, jumping jacks, stairs, sit ups, push ups, etc. The coaches pushed us, and I remember them saying not to give up, and to come back the next day, no matter how sore your body felt, you'd get used to it.

And I did. I also lost a lot of weight because of all the activity I was getting. It was 2 or so hours per day, 5 (sometimes 6) days per week. My body was getting into shape, I was looking and feeling better. Fencing was one of the best things I could have done. Not only did I lose weight and become a competitive athlete, I gained a lot of friends and some wonderful memories and experiences. Fencing has had a huge impact on my life, I don't know where or how I would be without ever joining.

[Child] Obesity

According the to National Library of Medicine, "Obesity means having too much body fat. It is not the same as being overweight, which means weighing too much. A person may be overweight from extra muscle, bone, or water, as well as from having too much fat".

Obesity is so common in America that we've been nicknamed the "fat country" by other nations. Obesity is an epidemic, it is the cause and effect of various health conditions that millions of people suffer from. Obesity is a growing problem, and there are scientists and doctors dedicated to finding causes for obesity as well as treatments or prevention.

I think this is something too difficult to narrow down or blame on one thing or another. It is a combination of things, and every person is different. Sure, there are some links to why someone may be overweight or obese (when I say overweight in this post, I mean significantly overweight yet not obese), such as genetics or social environments, but if we are so aware of these things, why isn't the number of obese people going down? Why does the number of obese children and adults keep growing every year? I personally hate seeing severely overweight children, because that is not just genetics, that is a parent not controlling or monitoring their child's diet and/or exercise time.

Here are some facts from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention:

• Childhood obesity has more than doubled in children and tripled in adolescents in the past 30 years.^{1, 2}
• The percentage of children aged 6–11 years in the United States who were obese increased from 7% in 1980 to nearly 18% in 2010. Similarly, the percentage of adolescents aged 12–19 years who were obese increased from 5% to 18% over the same period.^{1, 2}
• In 2010, more than one third of children and adolescents were overweight or obese.¹
• Overweight is defined as having excess body weight for a particular height from fat, muscle, bone, water, or a combination of these factors.³ Obesity is defined as having excess body fat.⁴
• Overweight and obesity are the result of “caloric imbalance”—too few calories expended for the amount of calories consumed—and are affected by various genetic, behavioral, and environmental factors.^5,6

Those numbers are scary. Overweight and obese children are a result of how they are raised. Yes, children can be picky eaters (I know, I was one of them!), but don't cave in and buy them McDonalds instead of them eating that chicken cutlet and broccoli on their plate! Or don't give them desert or a treat even when they didn't finish their main course! When I was a kid, if I didn't eat all of my lunch or dinner, no snack or desert for me. If I didn't want what was for dinner, I didn't get a substitute. My parents would always tell me how when they were kids, if they didn't eat what they were given, they starved. No exception. Now some parents may call that cruel, but you know what, if you leave the kid sitting at the table until they eat something off that plate, they'll pick at it a little bit. It may take some time, but their natural instinct of hunger will outweigh their stubbornness.

Also exercise or physical activity is important. Don't drag your kid to the gym, but enroll them in some kind of sport so they can socialize, and get their bodies moving. Or in the nice weather, bring them to the park and let them run around, or pump those legs on the swing. Anything to get them moving! It sucks because the way technology is now, kids don't want to leave their rooms. They've got HD TVs, Xbox or PlayStation, iPads, iPods, etc. As I was growing up, a lot of the technology was new, so it was cool to have, but not common, and it was also expensive. It was also OKAY to play with my GameBoy while I was inside or on a long car ride, but if it was nice out, you can bet my butt was outside. You need to have that happy medium, since we cannot escape the technology advancements, it is a part of our everyday lives, but kids need to do other things and not be so dependent on them. I can't locate it now, but I saw a meme that said "Our society is more prepared for a zombie apocalypse than a power outage". It's sad, but true. We lose power for a few hours, people freak out, but I bet if there was a zombie outside people would be all "fuck yea!". Which is absurd. I hate zombies and this obsession people have with zombies.

Anyway, I was always a little "big boned" as the doctor said, a little meatier than some other kids. Not necessarily fat, but not skinny either. When I was young I didn't really know, or care to notice. It wasn't until maybe third grade, one summer while sitting in church for religion class, this girl sitting next to me asked me why my legs were so big. Sitting down, they flowed out, like most legs do that aren't twigs. Hers were twigs, she didn't have excess skin or fat being pushed out at the sides when she sat down like I did. I didn't say anything, I just stared at my legs and that's when I started to think I was fat. That same summer, I was also teased for having "boobs", if you can even call them that at that age. I was a little chubby, so I had boobs when no other girls did.

I started to know I was fat in Middle School. But I ate my feelings, and it was this vicious cycle, where I'd be upset about being fat, then eat because I was upset, then get upset for eating, and so on. I used to hide under dark and baggy clothes, it was the only way I felt semi-comfortable. I'll never forget though, in seventh grade, these two boys used to taunt me (along with a few other kids) for various things (my hair, clothes, being "goth", etc.) until they called me fat to my face. It was like being slapped in the face. I didn't cry, though I felt the tears coming, but I couldn't let them see they got to me.

I know now that my being overweight at that age was in part due to hormones/puberty, but I also know it was because of poor eating habits and eating choices. Also, because of genetics, a lot of people in my family lineage were overweight. I don't want to blame my parents, but I think they are partially to blame, especially when it came to being rewarded with food. I know we'd go out for ice cream or something whenever I did good at/with something. It used to be, and maybe still is, a common reward. 

Good report card - let's get ice cream. Soccer team won a game - let's get pizza. Lost chess match - well you did your best, let's get milk shakes. I'm sure this happens for a lot of people. I think there needs to be a substitute for food as a reward.

Everyone Has Been Overweight at One Point in Their Lives...

...And if you haven't, then you are one lucky son of a bitch! But seriously, everyone is concerned about weight. Whether we're thinking about gaining or losing weight, looking at others who are overweight or underweight, or "perfect". Weight is on everyone's minds, with many thanks to the media. And it's not just weight, but health and fitness also. There are so many ads, commercials, magazines, TV shows, or products that are out there for people to see, try, and buy into. It has become a huge market! There are gyms popping up everywhere. I know in my town alone there are four different gyms. In NYC, much like Starbucks, there are gyms practically on every corner.

There is so much pressure on girls and young women regarding their bodies. Thanks to the media and how women are portrayed, many young girls become self conscious of their bodies. Most become concerned about their bodies before they've even started growing and developing! Women, particularly in movies and in magazines, are often skinny and tall, with flawless skin and other "perfect" features. They are not realistic. Nor are these women that appear in men's ads who are skinny, yet still have nice asses and large boobs. That is not natural. (Yes I know there is like that 1% of women who are lucky and have bodies like this, but I'm speaking in terms of the majority). It's not as bad as it used to be like when I was younger, but it still happens. For instance today, I saw on the cover of a magazine that was comparing and criticising Kim Kardashian and Kate Middleton, who are both six months pregnant. They were both being backlashed because Kim has gained a lot of weight, while Kate has barely gained any. They cannot and should not be compared. They are two totally different women, not related what-so-ever, who live two different lifestyles. Everyone's body is different.

While women are most often the victim of body image issues, it happens with men too. It is becoming more common now than ever. Where the issue for women is be thin to be beautiful, for men, it is to be big and buff. Weight Watchers, one of the biggest weight loss programs in the country, has even begun targeting men in their ads. They even created a special diet program just for men. I think the effect is trickling down to young boys, boys that are much too young to be concerned about becoming "jacked". Being a gym rat myself, I see these boys working out who are MAYBE 12, 13 years old. They should not be lifting weights, trying to bulk up. Their bodies are just starting to grow! I think children under 18 should not be allowed in the gym, at least not unsupervised. It is harmful to their growth and development to be lifting weights and taking protein shakes and whatever other muscle building crap they put in their bodies. They could very well stunt their growth, or cause some other deformation to their bodies by not letting them grow and develop naturally.

Don't get me wrong, I am all for exercise and being healthy, but there are limits. Being fit and healthy is more than just about weight loss or muscle gain, its about knowing your body and what it needs nutrition wise as well. Everyone's body type or form is different, so everyone will carry weight on their bodies differently. I cannot say it enough, everyone is different, so the same diet or fitness regime won't work for everyone. You need to know some biology/anatomy of the human body first, then take that knowledge and apply it to your own body, then you can start to figure out what works for you.

Also I think the most important thing is for children/young people to learn about their bodies (as far as growth and nutrition are concerned) at a younger age. Nutrition isn't even offered in many (if any) High Schools, sure there's a section in their health class textbook, but most kids dismiss health class as an easy A or not important subject. I took a nutrition class in college, and it was one of the best classes I took. It was really difficult, because it is a science, and while I struggled on the exams, I learned a lot! I think nutrition should be a subject offered in high schools, or health class should be made into a heavily weighted subject like math or English, and it should be first introduced in elementary school (obviously not as in depth as in middle/junior or high school, but the basics).